Subject: Say It Isn't so! Since my website has crashed again, I felt obligated to get this information out to you!  Use it as you think best!

Say it isn't so, Honey!

Yes, LaVern needs your prayers again! We wouldn't be surprised if
an indictment was handed down any day! We have been beset with grief
and anxiety since this ordeal began on October 18th. As you know,
on that day we were just returning from that most wonderful cruise with
all of you. LaVern and I, James and Shayne were booked on the same
flight back to Houston. As we went thru security, as expected, James and I,
with our metal knees and hips, were pulled aside, searched, scanned, and
otherwise abused.

As we cleared security, we noticed that LaVern was
being hasseled pretty good by a security officer. She had to take her shoes
off and he was rummaging thru her purse. She looked very upset so James,
Shayne and I went over to see if we could help. LaVern was pleading as the guy
examined every item in her purse and carry-on bag. "Sir, be careful with my things!
I certainly don't have a bomb in there!" To which he replied, "I know, but you DO
have a Swiss Army Knife in here somewhere!" LaVern retorted, "I beg your pardon,
Sir, but I do not!" And I exclaimed, "Are you crazy, my wife would never committ a violent act...well, she did shoot Ronald once, but she has never had a Swiss Army Knife and, if she did, there is no way in Hell she would try to carry it on to an airplane!" James chimed in, "You should be ashamed of yourself for accusing my sweet sister-in-law of such a dasterdly deed!" Then Shayne put her two cents in, "For Heaven's sake, LaVern is a Mary Kay Lady....does that not tell you how estraordinarily high her standards are.............and you are implying that she is a terrorist trying to carry a Swiss Army Knife onto an airplane?"

At this point, the security officer put all of the contents of her purse into a
container, then took it and her purse and ran them back thru the x-ray
machine. We comforted LaVern, telling her the machine would exonerate her
and we would extract a profound apology from the security guy. In a moment
he returned with a big smile on his face. "Didn't find a thing in my purse, did you?"
LaVern said. The man pointed to her cosmetic bag in the container and said,
"It is in there!" He opened the bag, emptied the contents, and.....there was a
shiny, silver Swiss Army Knife! LaVern gasped in horror! I cried out, "Honey, Say it isn't so!"

James murmured, "I never would have believed it!" Shayne shouted, "The
devil made her do it!" LaVern screamed, "I saw that knife at work, someone must
have....I must have...." but her words were cut off by the security guard glaring at
her and saying, "Mrs. McWhorter, this is a prohibited weapon and I will have to
confiscate it and you will....." At this point, LaVern began to cry uncontrollably,
Shayne joined in, and I feigned a heart attack, James conned the guard into
letting us board (without the knife) before major medical assistance was required.
We hope the ordeal is over, but the statute of limitations has 10 more years
before it runs out!